M.I.A

Yep, it's been a while since I posted up in this spot and really there's a good reason for it. I'm just not really ready to go into all of that right now. I will say that I've got a lot going on. Good things going on. A new role at work that keeps me busy and humping. I used to have a few minutes of down time to check the blogs and read up on all the celeb gossip, but No Mas! This opportunity came to me, I surely wasn't looking for it per se. It's been challenging so far, but as always I'm up for it. Yes, a girl is working hard but I also play harder.

Which leads me into my mini-vacay/girlfriend-get-a-way that I have coming up on Friday. I'm really excited about spending time with my BFF in her new home in lovely, sunny San Diego, CA! It's going to be amazingly fun! She's so much fun anyway. I've been to various parts of California, but never to San Diego. She has a number of activities planned for us, but one place that I absolutely must visit is the vineyards. Anyway, I'm flying out on Friday morning, first-class snitches!

Let's see....oh yeah, I"m getting ready to paint my house....finally. I had my house built almost 5 years ago (on the 27th) and not one lick of paint on the wall. My friend, who's an interior designer, came over on Saturday morning for a color, design consult so it's on. I don't know why I haven't done it all this time, but I'm ready now and I can't wait to see the outcome. We're starting w/the down stairs which consists of the living, dining room, kitchen and half bath. I totally trust her b/c she has amazing creativity. Shout out to Simone!

Ok, I'm rambling but I just had to stop in and say something. I feel bad that I have people who actually care enough to read my blog (Hi Followers) and I haven't posted a thing in more than a month (tsk, tsk, tsk) I will do better. Until the next time. Be and do well...

I got you babe....

Probably more immortalized by Sonny and Cher than realized by most couples. It sounds good and I can't front, when somebody (I trust) says that they "got me" I breathe a little easier, or just full out relax. There is great comfort in being relieved from those things that hinder, annoy, disgust, drain, stress you. If G told me that I didn't' have to work b/c he got me....when I tell you I'd be printing out my resignation letter with the quicks! However, that has not manifested itself as reality for me just yet, but for some, it has indeed come to fruition.

So I'm sitting at work listening to a local radio interview w/Tiny of BET's "Tiny & Toya" show. Most of us recognize Tameka "Tiny" Cottle from the now defunct R&B group Xscape, however, she's most recognizable as T.I's lady, and according to Ms. Tiny, T.I has some very strong views about her working. He doesn't want her to! *swoon*. I know that's not far fetched for some of you uppity Negros but for those of us that need two incomes to keep things on (literally) and poppin' it's just a fantasy. Outside of lottery wins or the like happening, I just can't see it. Even then I'd probably still have a side hustle b/c you jess neva know! Times are hard, the economy is weak-n-shit and folks are losing their jobs and things suck for a lot of people....but Tiny ain't one of them.

Now, please don't get me twisted. I'm not AT ALL hating on Tiny's position. I just kinda wish I had it like that too. What I am attempting to appreciate is her desire to work when she doesn't have to. As a 40-hr/wk working woman, who would love for her numbers to finally hit, it just behooves me that she can't just get somewhere and set down! From a working woman's perspective I might be a millisecond leery of accepting such a grand gesture (b/c there must be strings right?) G and I are not married and if shit were ever to hit the fan I would be SOL! That ain't what you want either. However, I would be remissed if I didn't mention that Ms. Tiny had money before T.I was what's hot in the streets. She not only cashed in on Xscape checks but she also wrote a hit for the girl group T.L.C. I know you remember "No Scrubs" right? Yep, that was Tiny. So she's not totally unfamiliar with a privileged life, T.I's status just upgraded her. But, she's conflicted. Should she honor her man's request of being a "kept" woman with all her wants, needs, desires met by his gainful employment or should she continue to pursue her creative abilities as well?

I think that's a hard one. On the one hand, you're in a position most folk can only dream of, on the other, you're an artist too and your creativity needs to be expressed. I get that, I do. But again, coming from a working woman's perspective, one who has ALWAYS had to work, I'd like to think I would accept the Queenship hands down but I don't know. Does anyone else notice the elephant in the room. CONTROL!!!

There is clearly an underlying theme of control based on the show so far. So are those are the conditions of being a kept woman? For example, on episode #2, Tiny and her girls were preparing to go out for (what women all love) a GNO (Girls Night Out) an T.I called her cell asking where she was, who was there, etc. She decided to forgo hanging with the ladies to attend to her man's needs. It's also important to note that T.I was a short time away from year and a day jail sentence, but does that make it OK? I get the impression that he's always trying to commando her and she relents. As she later said she went home to him to, "to keep peace in my home." Wow, really. OK.

I've thought about being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) once we start our family. I think I would definitely want to be able to for at least the first year of my child's life. That's an important and pivotal part of a child's development and I'm certain I don't want some very qualified, certified somebody else influencing my kid before s/he is even able to put words together. But I know me, and I don't know how long it would be kosher staying at home. That's not to say I would be dying to get back to my corporate hustle, but I might really like to take on something a lot more enjoyable and profitable for my household. If G could sit me down from the corporate game I would definitely have to do something productive and creative. I envision that manifesting itself as teaching (in a school, my true calling), working with the American Cancer Society, AIDS Atlanta, Susan G. Komen For The Cure, Atlanta Union Mission, Boys & Girls Club, etc. If finances were not a concern, if money was in the bank like WHOA, and I owned my house...yeah, I would deuce my corporate gig and pursue my true interests and passions. Unfortunately, those things don't compensate nearly as good as where I am now. That's the trade off. So in essence, I guess I've traded my passion and purpose to make more loot and Tiny has traded her freedom and rights to pursue her own interests for her man and his comfort. Hmmm....we're not that different after all.

When one isn't enough

With the recent news of the murder-suicide of ex-NFL star Steve "Air" McNair still fresh on the press, it forces us bloggers, media outlets and beauty salons all over the contiguous United States to address the age old subject of "cheating", or having an affair if you're married. More specifically, it brings up the question, "is one woman/man enough?".

The expectation is that when you're in a committed relationship/marriage that you are not entertaining the idea of another person of the opposite/same sex (depending on your sexual preference of course). So when you're married and have children and live a relatively public life, one might expect that you'd be a little more discreet with your non-marriage related carryings on. Not so. I think every woman wonders if her man ever cheated on her what type of woman would she be. Would she be smarter, prettier, sexier, freakier, more loving, a better listener, a better cook, more into sports....and on and on. But I bet Mrs. McNair never in a milli thought her former Titan would be romping around with a very adolescent looking Sahel Kazemi. WTF? A cheat is a cheat, tis true, but damn dude. The D&B server??? Really??

What a horrendous way for Mrs. Mechelle McNair to discover her husbands infidelity. Reports suggest that she had no knowledge of the affair, but I personally find that extremely hard to believe. There are pictures surfacing with Steve and Sahel Kazemi on a vacation. I'm talking about all boo'd up. He's all smiles and so is she. Not a damn care in the world. No concern or care if these pictures get out and his wife, family, kids sees them. Yeah, she knew, she just maybe didn't know who the chick was, but she had to know her man was out there doing something. But how sad and embarrassing. To get the news that your husband has been murdered and next to him is his jump-off who probably killed him. Whew...that's gotta take your breath away.
I think about the subject of in/fidelity a lot and I notice that we bind ourselves to situations that really doesn't fit us, or just isn't what we want. I am not anti-marriage, but I am never shocked when I hear that someone is cheating, divorcing or unhappy in their relationship/marriage. I have also been guilty of getting into relationships for the wrong reason only to have them dissolve later down the road. Here's my thoughts on marriage:

Marriage =/= Commitment
Marriage= Obligation

Even this doesn't account for the "change of heart" that seemingly happens after a few years of marriage. Call it marriage boredom, marriage routine, cheat itch or whatever. People start out with good intentions, but...as the saying goes, "the road to hell was built on good intentions". We all know examples of good intentions gone bad. Does anyone really set out to cheat? No, I doubt it but it happens, and it happens a lot.

There are so many men and women willing to be the "jump off" w/o any conditions that it makes the pathway a whole lot easier to walk towards. Add to that any little bit of celebrity, prestige, $$$, status, etc. then you got a situation. I'm intrigued by this love affair between McNair and Kazemi. The web says she worked at Dave & Busters where he and his FAMILY would often go. So the D&B chick got game...clearly. How did she approach Steve? Was his family present when she made her first move? What did she offer that his wife wasn't? Was she more fun, more freaky, a better listener, a better cook or was she simply a thrill; an adrenaline rush that his wife could no longer provide? Tons of questions, but we will never really know the answers.

Wow...Mrs. McNair is going to be distraught and perhaps relieved. Relieved if her husband was the philandering man that he's going to be remembered as, roaming about with some unknown woman until she was named as the second deceased person in his condo. Distraught b/c she has 4 kids to raise alone b/c her husband couldn't keep his dick in his pants, or cheat with a more sane individual. Either way, it's an ugly situation. This mess is all over the web and news. Tweets galore! What a way to go out.

Never can say goodbye.

This is how I choose to remember Michael Jackson. This Thriller album is the most memorable to me b/c my Mama would play this record (yes, record) on Saturday mornings and we'd clean house listening to the Thriller album. Wow...another legend is gone.

I didn't know if I would or should blog about the death of Michael Jackson. It's surreal. Although I'm watching the coverage (some of it) and reading the headlines (most of them) it still doesn't feel real to me. When I think back on little Michael of the Jackson Five compared to the shell of a man who passed away on June 25, 2009 it makes me sad, really sad.

Michael has been in the limelight since he was six years old performing among his older siblings, but even then he was clearly a star and soon left J5 to pursue his own solo singing career. I can't remember when the weirdness entered but I imagine it was around the time he started the plastic surgeries. OK, so he didn't like his nose, understood. A lot of celebrities half their nose. Ms. Patti Labelle is quick to tell you that she had her nose cut in half. But for Mike, it didn't seem to stop there. It really just continued to get out of control. His nose got thinner and thinner, as he got thinner and his skin suddenly became lighter, and he no longer looked like the Michael Jackson that I grew up loving. The man who made me beg my Mama for a bedazzled glove, red leather jacket and penny loafers (yes, with the penny in them). I even had the Michael Jackson dolls with all the clothes to match. Yep, I was a fanatic.

I'm not writing to judge Michael or his lifestyle, only to question if this musical icon, who lived and performed all over the world, died unhappy. I can't help but to wonder if Michael Jackson was ever truly happy. The Jackson 5 movie showed us that Papa Joe ruled his household with an iron fist and that most of the kids, if not all of them, were scared of their father. That relationship never seemed to change either, even into his adult life.

When I think about all the jokes and ridicule this man suffered, how he was accused of molesting sick kids that he was actually simply trying to help, so much so that he fled the country just to salvage some sense of peace. Sad. When the world wanted to be entertained Michael Jackson was the greatest thing since electricity, but when his name and reputation came under fire the world quickly turned its back on him. What a horrible feeling. All of your humanitarian efforts ignored and forgotten, your legendary record sales and performances ignored and forgotten. That's how fickle people are I suppose.

To the Legendary Musical Icon and Humanitarian Michael Joseph Jackson....you live on through your music and your deeds forever!

I never could say goodbye.........

It's gone rain on yo head....

Actually, it did rain on my head and it was quite refreshing. I can't recall the last time that I got soaking wet (from rain....wit yo nasty mind). This Summer shower was refreshing to me as it fell. While others around me scanted and scurried about to get to their cars, I slowed my pace and decided to allow the rain to rinse me off.

Rinsing my mind of the days work and the work to come once I finally make it home. Dwelling on the good things only. Although sometimes hard to do, I can tune out negativity. Today I need a day to get my mind right. To relax and release. To sit in my garden tub, light candles and listen to some smooth jazz. Maybe finish working on two books that I once felt inspired to write.

I have to break the routine. Life is more than clocks, meetings, luncheons, negotiations, corporate politics and such. Its about peace of mind, simple joys in small things, hysterical laughter, and relationships.

Wow....I didn't not expect this little rain shower to take me to depth, but I believe God is tryna tell me something. I felt him in that short rainfall. It felt like a raining down of blessings. Wow.....summer rain!


Thank God for the rain

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Who the hell left the gate open?

As much as I try not to indulge in the celebrity gossip (....yeah right) and all the blogs with nothing but usually horrible things to report, I find myself cringing at the latest celeb gossip. As I was dressing for work this morning I hear on gossip central (V103 radio) that Morgan Freeman reportedly had an "affair" with his ex/wife's granddaughter **gasp**, **wall slide**!! Seriously!! That there.....that right there made me instantaneously nauseous....I'n lyin, I'n lyin!! What in the blue blazes would make a young woman want to body hump with any old man (clearly Sean Connery is the exception), much less one that actually looks as old as he is like Morgan Freeman.

Now Morgan Freeman was my dude until I heard this mess. I mean I love his acting ability but the thought of a 70+ year old man and a 20 y/o girl makes me want to castrate somebody....fo.real! Isn't that illegal? Like how is that any different than a 14 y/o and a 35 y/o? The age disparity is tremendous between those two. I think the girl just turned 25 this year. This really, truly and seriously disappoints me. Can young girls have any hope for father figures? I mean, it seems like all most men want is to get tween them thighs. This feels like pedophilia to me. I know she may have been over 18 when the act(s) occurred, but still....I'm just saying y'all.....do you feel me on this? I joke about Sean Connery b/c he was a sexy older man but I really could not, would not.....Hell naw!

Anyway, moving on......

I am also saddened that one of my fav food spots has turned into ghetto central, yep, I'm talking about Luckie Food Lounge. If you live in Atlanta, been to Atlanta in the last year or so, then you know all about LFL. When this place first opened I thought it had a very nice aesthetic and the food was good too. Shortly after putting a number of folk on to this place it started to go downhill. One day some co-workers and I decided to hit up Luckie for a nice lunch only to find that the place was closed and only opening for happy hour? WTF?! I'm like, so this isn't a restaurant anymore? Now Frank Ski is hosting parties in there at least once a week and all the local celebs post up in there on a daily. Before its demise as a restaurant, it was a really nice spot for out-of-towners and those in-towners looking for somewhere trendy but good to eat. Then, this morning as G was leaving for work, he gets out of his truck and comes back into the house to promptly inform me that I can no longer go to LFL anymore. I'm like why and then he drops it on me. Some people were stabbed last night at Luckie. WTF? I mean granted I haven't been able to visit Luckie as a restaurant in like forever, but dang, they going out like that? Sadness. Sandra Rose goes into full disclosure as to what happened. Lawd...lawd!!

On a tv note, I'm curious as to what's really going on with the tv hit Jon & Kate Plus 8. Picture it....8 kids in...two sets of multiples....and this mofo decides it's all too much for him? I mean, I can understand having a camera crew, producers and whatnot all up in your area all the time is nerve wracking, but dude...you have 8 freakin kids! How you gonna decide all willy nilly that you're just gonna "do-over" with some other woman?? Kate is a bit much at times....most times...ok, all the time but I get the feeling this is nothing new. She is a dominant personality and Jon is more docile and go-along. While I don't condone her emasculating her man privately or publicly, her behavior doesn't permit Jon to just deuce her out. I mean, they have 8 freaking kids together!! Fortunately we're not privy to what goes on outside of tapping (other than what the tabs report) so this could have been brewing for some time. It has to be stressful to have eight kids all under the age of 10. My God! Really, I hope this is not a ratings plow b/c that would be really, really sad. They're already pretty much exploiting these kids and their opportunity for a normal childhood by even participating in the show. Yes, there is a financial benefit but still. I'n know if I could do it, but then again, I'm also not trying to feed, clothe, nurture and educated 8 children...my God! I wonder if they get food stamps? LOL

Reportedly Jon isn't with the invasion of privacy anymore . He can't stand it. But when that TLC check arrives......uh huh....riiight. From all indications neither Jon nor Kate are gainfully employed (except for their questionable acting ability on the show) and rely solely on the success of their show. That's a precarious situation. Kate quit working when she had the last batch of 6, which I understand was a career as a nurse. Jon was in some sort of tech position, but as of this season, it doesn't look like he's working either. One thing is for sure, they are definitely living apart. The tension between the two of them in the new episodes could be cut with a knife. Its sad. I guess Jon only shows up b/c he's contractually obligated. Reality tv is fun, only if you're on the other side of the camera, watching.

I do not envy celebrity life.

Word for the day: Fierce!

Thanks Tafari!